Friday, December 27, 2013

What is it REALLY like to have Endo...

What It Really Means to Have Endometriosis

"...Quite frankly a lot of this medical stuff can be quite dry and boring and does not convey what it is like for a woman to have this disease and how it truly impacts her life, her family, her career, and her ability to live her life in very basic ways.

In reality, this disease can be like having tens or hundreds of excruciatingly painful blisters covering the inside of the pelvis. Infertility and pelvic pain are the two most common symptoms of endometriosis.

Patients with endometriosis can experience horrific pain – for the lucky ones it lasts just a couple of days during their period, and in the worst cases the pain is 24/7. The dichotomy between the way women with endometriosis look well on the outside but are experiencing excruciating pain internally can cause even well-meaning people to doubt the severity of their pain.

Most women begin to have pain in their teenage years, sometimes even starting in junior high school. While similar in timing, this pain is completely different than normal menstrual cramps. It is not uncommon for these girls to miss a couple of days of school each month from cyclic pain that can exceed the level of pain patients experience after major surgery.

A lack of awareness of this disease can leave these girls without a correct diagnosis and support from their physicians. This can lead to a lack of appropriate treatment for the pain and invalidation of the patient’s situation. Her family is now led to believe that psychological issues drive the severity of her pain.

In this tragic situation, she is effectively held prisoner and tortured by her own body in broad daylight, with no one who fully understands her situation or who can effectively help her.

The symptoms usually progress as she matures into a young woman. Both the severity and duration of the pain typically increase. Initially most days each month are pain-free, but the number of these days slowly decreases until there are a greater number of non-functioning pain days. The unpredictability of the increasing number of pain days makes it challenging to maintain a functional life. It becomes increasingly difficult to make plans for a future date as it becomes more likely that it will be a pain day and she will not be able to follow through on her commitment for the activity.

As a disease, endometriosis can take away many additional aspects of a normal life. Mothers cannot reliably meet the needs of their children when the pain is too severe to function. Wives try to push through the pain to be intimate with their husbands, but eventually the pain becomes too intense to continue. Grinding fatigue as severe as that experienced with advanced cancer is present in most cases. Bloating, moodiness, and bladder and bowel issues are common as well.

Feeling like a vibrant desirable woman is long since gone. Acting like the loving compassionate woman, mother and partner that she truly is becomes more and more difficult. The stress on family relationships is common and real.

Even at this stage, most women fight the disease, refusing to let it completely take over their life. You would most likely pass right by them in public, having no idea of the devastation they are dealing with. Most of the time they get up, put on a brave face and do their best to live a normal life.
The medical definition of endometriosis does not even begin to describe the reality of what it means to have endometriosis. The next time you hear about endometriosis, please remember how devastating this disease can be to a person. While endometriosis can be frustrating, if you have a loved one, friend or co-worker who suffers from endometriosis, please remember to treat them with respect and compassion.

WHAT IS ENDOMETRIOSIS?

ENDOMETRIOSIS

Little is commonly known or understood about Endometriosis. What is known is that it can strike between 10 and 20 percent of American Women of childbearing age.
The name Endometriosis comes from the word "endometrium", the tissue that lines the inside of the uterus. Normally, this tissue builds up and is shed each month and is discharged as menstrual flow. In case of Endometriosis, a small piece of this endometrial tissue is "misplaced" and is found outside the normal lining of the uterus. It may be located on ovaries, tubes, intestines, walls of abdomen and pelvis or the ligaments supporting the uterus.
Unlike menstrual fluid, which is discharged during menstruation, blood from the misplaced uterine lining causes the surrounding tissue to become inflamed or swollen. This may produce scar tissue (adhesions) in the area of endometriosis or can develop into what is commonly called "implants", "lesions", "nodules", or "growths".

What causes endometriosis?

We do not fully understand why endometrial tissue grows outside of the womb in some women, but not others. It probably has something to do with genetic factors, since Endometriosis frequently runs in families. We do know that the female hormone estrogen makes the problem worse. Women have high levels of estrogen during their childbearing years.
The Mystery of Endometriosis is that while some women have severe pain, others who have the condition have no symptoms at all!

Symptoms

Pain is the most common symptom of Endometriosis. Some women have severe cramps during their periods. Women that have progressively more painful periods with age usually have Endometriosis. Other women have pain during intercourse or during urination or bowel movements.
Infertility occurs in about 30-40 percent of women with endometriosis.
Ovarian cysts filled with endometriotic material (dark, chocolate colored substance) may be detected with ultrasound. However these are present in less than 20% of women with Endometriosis.

Who, What, Why, When, HOW....




WHO:     I have Endometriosis, Stage IV Endometriosis, also referred to as Endo.  I was diagnosed just over 10 years ago by laparotomy.  I have had 3 surgeries so far.  I have denied a fourth surgery about 2 years ago, because I felt hopeless at the pain and scar tissue the surgery would cause.  The type of surgeries I have had have been ineffective.  

I am now fighting my insurance company to get approval for a full removal of my deep stage IV Endo and Endometriomas (cysts of varying size attached to my ovaries) by an Endometriosis Specialist Surgeon.  

WHAT:  Endometriosis is a condition that affects 176 million women across the globe in different stages.  The average time until accurate diagnosis is 7-11 years.  Endometriosis is a NON CURABLE disease that is listed as not being life threatening.  But the truth about Endometriosis is that it may not directly end my life, but has directly halted my life in many ways.  . Many women with advanced Endo begin to present with all sorts of endocrine related ailments.  Deep Endometriosis can risk life by blocking bowels or blocking urinary arteries etc. and lead to emergency procedures or situations that could be life threatening.  

I will be making blog posts of my research of studies and information with the newest scientific studies of Endometriosis.  Currently there is not a lot of research out regarding Endo.  I will include links, descriptions and other information that may help you understand endo and other chronic illnesses.  I will also be posting on my fight with Kaiser Permanente Southern California.  I will also post updates on my quest for proper treatment.

WHY:  If you will choose to read this blog, you will join in support for me on this part of my life journey.  I am writing this blog as a release for my frustration, to gather all of my material in one place and most importantly to provide my loved ones with a place to learn and grow in the understanding of My Endo Life.  Until there is a cure or my Lord decides to heal me, this is my path.  I have spent a over a decade knowing I had Endometriosis, but essentially burying my head in the sand regarding proper care or treatment of the disease.  As a result, I am to the point where I have been almost stopped in my tracks.  My daily life is altered by an ever increasing gradient of pain.  I am left having to be very cautious about what I agree to do and sometimes I just have to cancel life to deal with the pain.  

The emotional challenges of Endometriosis are also why I am doing this blog. I don't look sick (thankfully) but it can lead people, from afar, to conceive me as lazy, aloof or uncaring, attention seeking or selfish.  I struggle with telling people details about my illness, and risk being left out of things, or risk them pitying me.  I struggle with not telling people what is going on, because I am inherently honest, and genuinely want people to know and want people to be educated and to be able to relate to me.  You can see my dilema.  By the way, I feel quite dramatic sometimes when I share about this... but this is actually quite dramatic at times  I also struggle with looking forward to the future, or making any future plans.  Even a dinner date next week can leave me in a sweat.

Another emotional struggle is the lack of accurate information that exists for this disease.  Many sound, bright Gynecologists, believe they have all the information necessary to effectively treat Endo, but in reality their education of the actual disease and their knowledge of most recent studies is usually ineffective at best, harmful at worst.  Many women are still duped into believing lies and myths about Endometriosis, resulting in the loss of their Uterus and sadly sometimes their ovaries, which throws them into a whole new set of health problems and often still leaves the Endo thriving. < Although every case is different and some women had no choice for other reasons compounded by Endometriosis>  There is conflicting information everywhere and studying sources and studies is long and challenging.

Much of what you will be reading is my constant desire for the most current information to make the best decisions for MY personal care and to be able to share the information that I have learned with other women who fight along side me - - other women whom I affectionately refer to as my Endo Sisters.

WHEN:  Over the last year and a half, my pain level has been slowly increasing.  I have had a few trips to ER for severe bouts with pain.  I have been put on an harsh hormone medications that I have been given too many times than what is safely known to give, that have given me lasting side effects that compound my problems instead of reprieve them.  I have also refused any more hormone altering medications.  

I am fighting currently to have surgery with Dr. Andrew S. Cook, of Vital Health Institute in Los Gatos.  

HOW:  How do I manage?  Well I have an amazing support team of a very understanding husband and children, as well as sets of parents that rescue me constantly. I have a husband, sister and friend, and my endo sisters to hear my heart when I feel like I can't carry my load any longer.  And I have a strong Faith in God that holds me when it would be easy to question "Why me?"

In fact, God never promised me a rose garden.  I have been promised His steadfast Hand to hold me and His Faithfulness to guide me when I can't see the pathway through the darkened valleys.  I have been promised that no matter what I face I have a Strong Tower to protect me and teach me.  I will learn and grow from the adversity that I now walk.  I have been promised a future like none you can imagine....  A future of freedom..... Heaven.

Bloom Where You are Planted!